Profoundly Affected

Virginia Tech. Or as one of my favorite bumper stickers has it, Vajenya Tek.

I'm surprised at how I feel concerning yesterday's events. Of course, I am shocked, saddened, and dismayed. Columbine brought the same emotions. As did the Beltway Sniper(s). 9/11 brought them, too, but with even more shock along with anger added to the mix.

VT has produced in me profound grief. I mourn. It's the same I felt when I lost my brother and then my step-father.

I'm surprised I feel this so deeply because ... well ... I'm not an alumnus. Sure, I have friends who are and my brother-in-law also is, but I've never even been on the campus. I did apply to attend college there, but somehow they didn't get all my high school info (I think my counselor dropped the ball); since I wanted to go to GMU anyway, I didn't pursue it any further.

So is it really possible I feel this way because of my rather loose affiliations? Or is it because my three youngest kids are college age? Or is it because I am part of the educational establishment myself? Or maybe I feel this because I am — from the outer most surface of my "personal bubble" to the very core of my soul — a Virginian, and this took place in my "home"? (Do I hear a faint ringing of the truth bell on that last one?)

I don't know.

I just want to go to some quiet, solitary place — and cry.